The Trouble with Emotions
by inukagome15
Summary: Part 3 of "The Last Archangel" series. There was no reason to be jealous of his siblings. He did not need the same things they did. His creator disagreed.


**This is a belated request from _vworpreally_ over on tumblr:**

. ** _..would you consider writing one branching off from that story that is basically You Dummy and Butterfingers snuggling and playing with their dad and Jarvis just off to the side trying to hide how jealous he is?_**

 **Which is basically what we have, which means angst. Although I'd intended on there being a little bit of fluff...**

 **This is set after A Minor Christmas Story. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Summary:** There was no reason to be jealous of his siblings. He did not need the same things they did. His creator disagreed.

* * *

 **The Trouble with Emotions**

* * *

"Can we have another sleepover?" Sibling_DUM-E looked up at creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel, face hopeful.

" _Please_ ," sibling_BUTTERFINGERS added, eyes wide in a signature look that Jarvis recognized from the Internet as "puppy dog eyes." He was not entirely sure that such a look would work on creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel.

Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel tilted his head, smiling softly. "You guys sleepy already?"

"Nooo," sibling_DUM-E said slowly. "But…" He glanced at sibling_BUTTERFINGERS.

"It's warm," sibling_BUTTERFINGERS said shamelessly, shrugging.

" _Your bed is big,_ " sibling_U said, looking askance at creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel.

"That it is." Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel looked at his work, eyes skimming over the holographs before he shut them down by one. JARVIS backed them up to a secure server simultaneously, trying not to pay too much attention to his siblings arguing over who would sleep where.

"Are you guys even going to sleep?" creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel asked, amused.

Sibling_DUM-E looked horrified at the insinuation that they could do anything but. "Sleeping is _awesome_."

"I distinctly remember a certain someone refusing to go into their charging station—"

"Rebooting was so tiring," sibling_DUM-E complained.

Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel hummed skeptically, glancing to the obsolete charging ports. Then he looked at Jarvis. "You going to join us, J?"

The emotion Jarvis felt bubbling in his still-unfamiliar body could be identified as _want_. But the eagerness on his siblings' faces and remembering how awkward it had been to sleep in the bed last time had Jarvis reconsider his immediate answer. He did not need to sleep, requiring even less to function than his siblings. As such, there was no need to have a sleepover with creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel, who definitely did not sleep since his return from Afghanistan.

At any rate, there was a great deal of work Jarvis had to do.

Picturing the smile he wanted to shape, Jarvis did his best to shape his mouth in an approximation of it. From the look on creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's face, he did not succeed. "I think not, sir. But do enjoy yourselves."

"I don't think that's going to be an issue," creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel said dryly, looking just a bit too sharply at Jarvis for his comfort.

Jarvis did not move until the others were gone, but he followed their progress through the cameras in the house. He watched as his siblings shoved at each other, making themselves comfortable in the bed, uncaring of the fact that creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel was propped against the headboard with a tablet.

The feeling he had right now was probably _jealousy_ , but there was no reason to feel jealous. He could do that as well if he wanted. There was simply no need to.

But Jarvis remembered what it had felt like to sleep with creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel and his siblings so close to him, how warm it had been… Such human sensations were still a novelty for him, and it took him by surprise whenever he realized that he could actually _feel_ them.

He was no longer code in a server, although he was uncertain as to what exactly he _was_.

Still, existential crises were not in his nature. Jarvis thought that was more up creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's alley, regardless of how supernatural (or angelic, as the case may be) his creator was now.

The projects creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel was working on came to his attention, and Jarvis closed his eyes, retreating to the background to give advice when prompted. Regardless of how much other things had changed, this much had not.

(This feeling could be identified as _relief_.)

* * *

"Do you like my pancakes?" sibling_DUM-E demanded several days later, staring imperiously at creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel.

Jarvis studied the ceiling, pretending to miss the panicked glance creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel shot him. In all fairness, he could scarcely blame his creator, as they had both seen sibling_DUM-E empty the salt into the mix. Sibling_BUTTERFINGERS and sibling_U had already excused themselves from having to eat the pancakes by eating five bowls of cereal each.

"I like the chocolate," creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel tried. Jarvis saw him discreetly do away with half of the pancake while sibling_DUM-E was too busy beaming to pay attention. "It's…chocolate."

Sibling_DUM-E flung his arms around creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's neck, smearing flour, pancake mix, and melted chocolate all over his collar. He planted a wet kiss against creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's cheek.

Jarvis's throat thickened at the sight. Looking away, he reached out to pull sibling_U's glass back from the edge of the table. When his attention returned to creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel, Jarvis found himself looking right into his eyes, his creator frowning slightly.

Trying a small smile that he had seen humans use to reassure each other, Jarvis found himself experiencing an emotion humans probably identified as _dismay_ when creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's frown deepened instead of disappearing. Evidently his smiles still required a great deal of work.

"Have you used your mirror?" sibling_BUTTERFINGERS asked Jarvis.

To borrow a human phrase, the mirror promptly began burning a hole in Jarvis's back pocket. "Yes."

Sibling_U squinted at him. " _That's a lie._ "

Jarvis had never had a problem with lying before accepting the offer for a humanoid body. Perhaps he should leave the lying to his other self.

"Lay off J," creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel said mildly, ruffling a hand through sibling_U's hair. "He'll get the hang of it."

Jarvis ducked his head, something warm buzzing in his chest. "Thank you, sir."

Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel hummed, holding up a forkful of salty pancake. "Try a bite?" His tone was mild, but the look in his eye told Jarvis it was not a request.

Several seconds later, Jarvis was extremely glad of the lack of a gag reflex in his body.

* * *

Friend_James Rhodes visited the day before New Year's Eve, announcing that he had once again managed to request some time to spend with the CEO with Stark Industries, all the while grinning slyly at creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel. Friend_Virginia Potts arrived as well a few hours later, sweeping sibling_BUTTERFINGERS into a hug and kiss.

"I've got board games," friend_James Rhodes proclaimed, holding up the boxes he had brought. "Who's up for some Cluedo? Or UNO."

"Cluedo!" three voices said simultaneously, sibling_DUM-E going so far as to pull onto friend_James Rhodes's arms to take a closer look at the games.

"Cluedo it is," friend_James Rhodes said, letting sibling_U take the box to begin setting it up. "Easy, Dummy."

"There are only six pieces," sibling_BUTTERFINGERS said, head tilted to the side as she looked at the game. "There are seven of us."

"Well—" friend_Virginia Potts started.

"There is no need for me to play," Jarvis said calmly, interrupting her. It was the most expedient course of action, as it made no sense for Jarvis to play a game during which he could calculate probabilities and make an educated guess as to who the murderer was.

They were looking at him strangely, faces pinched in what Jarvis recognized as concern.

"You should play," friend_Virginia Potts said. "I have something I need to talk with Tony about."

"I thought we agreed on no work," creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel protested, eyes flicking to friend_Virginia Potts.

"No, that was tomorrow and the day after." Friend_Virginia Potts fixed him with an innocent look, eyes wide. "There's still paperwork to file."

" _Pepper_."

"I can make sure everything is in order," Jarvis offered, accessing the required files and ordering them from most important to least. "I have no desire to play."

It was not quite the truth, but it was not entirely a lie either.

The matter was settled in the end when sibling_BUTTERFINGERS pushed Mrs. Peacock into friend_Virginia Potts's hands and sibling_DUM-E solemnly handed creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel Professor Plum.

Jarvis pretended not to see the glances creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel gave him.

* * *

"J..."

Jarvis did not quite startle, but it was a close thing. He had failed to notice creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel appear behind him.

Unlike his usual response to taking Jarvis off guard, creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel did not smile, a worried frown crinkling his forehead.

"Sir?" Jarvis met his eyes.

Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel inhaled, shoulders shifting with the movement. "I'd hoped you would talk to me, but I can tell that's not going to happen."

Jarvis checked the cameras; no one else was in the vicinity. But even now...he had no idea how to even begin talking.

Coming closer, creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel sat down next to him on the couch, shoulders touching. "If it's something you don't want to share, that's okay. But I don't think it is, is it?" He did not look at Jarvis, eyes on a point three feet above a picture hanging on the opposite wall.

There were few times Jarvis was at a loss for words. This was one of those times, as he had no idea where to start.

"Are you regretting this?" creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel asked. "Is it too weird—"

"Not at all, sir," Jarvis quickly reassured him, understanding where he was going.

"Then what _is_ it? You've been acting oddly since Christmas." Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel looked at him now, brow furrowed.

"It's nothing you have to be concerned about." Jarvis turned away to look down at his hands.

"I say it does." Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel touched Jarvis's arm, fingers gentle. "Look, J, it's a two-way street. You say you're responsible for taking care of me? It's my responsibility to make sure _you're_ okay."

That had never been the case _before_ , but how could Jarvis say that?

Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel seemed to understand this, a rather melancholic smile pulling at his lips. "I know I haven't always managed that," he said quietly. His eyes were too dark, something old lurking behind them that Jarvis was still unfamiliar with. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't design me for that," Jarvis reminded him. "I was supposed to service your needs—"

"I didn't intend on designing artificial intelligences with souls, but I did." Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's hand squeezed Jarvis's arm briefly, comforting. "What matters is now, J, and I don't know what's happening."

Jarvis's throat thickened, and he found himself swallowing reflexively, eyes dropping to the hand still on his arm. "I…" There was absolutely no reason to be _jealous_ of his siblings. They were still so much younger than Jarvis emotionally and mentally speaking. But they found it so _easy_ to ask for affection from creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel, reaching out and taking it whenever they wanted.

How could Jarvis ask for it?

Sighing, creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel started to pull away. Instinctively, without even thinking, Jarvis held onto him, clutching to his wrist and holding him still.

Unmoving, creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel didn't breathe for ten long seconds. Jarvis refused to look at him, unsure of what was on his face or what he would see on his creator's.

Then, with a long exhale, creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's hand turned, gripping hold of Jarvis's. In the next second, his other arm went around Jarvis, drawing him into a tight hug. "You should have _said_ something, Jarvis. I never meant for you to feel like that."

Jarvis shivered slightly in his grip, unsure of how to respond. How had he—?

"I can see souls," creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel said quietly, "and I _know_ yours. J, I'm sorry."

Jarvis said nothing, hiding his face in creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's shoulder, breathing in his scent. It was more than what he remembered, as he was closer than he had been before. There was a tangible energy around creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel's person, its presence inexplicably comforting.

Creator_Anthony Stark_Gabriel said nothing more for six minutes, his right hand rubbing up and down Jarvis's back. "It's going to be okay," he said eventually, voice quiet. He pressed his mouth to the side of Jarvis's head, his hand coming up to cup his neck, thumb stroking soothingly over his skin.

Later that night, when midnight struck and fireworks exploded in the night sky, Jarvis found himself drawn into another tight hug and kiss on the head and felt what could only be _happiness_.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought!**


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